


A Cliche Harry Potter SEQUEL

by sExYcOrN



Series: A Cliche Harry Potter Fanfic [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cliche, Crack, Discussion of Abortion, F/F, F/M, Hogwarts Seventh Year, M/M, Mary Sue, OOC, Original Character(s), POV Original Female Character, Parody, Polygamy, Pregnancy, Queerbaiting, Sirius Black Lives, Teen Pregnancy, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Typos, Yule Ball (Harry Potter), orbs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-19 22:36:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17610323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sExYcOrN/pseuds/sExYcOrN
Summary: Rose is back with more cliches!!!!!11!!!1!Btw you should read the first one before this





	1. BACK TO HOGWARTS

**Author's Note:**

> PSA: SELF HARM ISN'T GOOD  
> YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL  
> I STAN YOU
> 
> THIS IS AN HOMAGE TO MY IMMORTAL

yo its ur girl rose so RECAP 19 years later I'm currently married to Sirius fukishin Black and we have a daughter named Summer (who is definitely not named after the author cough)

We were in bed doing the lovemaking when i got sad.

"What on earth is wrong mi Amor?" Serious axed me seductively.

"well i just miss Hogwarts and i realized there were so many things i missed out on doing. I think i have depression because it's not a chemical thing hell no. it's just when you feel sad." i cried tearz of blood and slit ma rists while moshing to mcr and good chralotte.

"No me love if you want to 🎵GET BACK TO HOGWARTS WE GOTTA GET BACK TO SCHOOL🎵 just use this time turner i found!" serious cried.

"ok thnx my depression is cured now!" i took the time turner and now WE GONNA GO BACK IN TIME .


	2. Where we left off

So last time I was at the Yule ball, Draco and Ginny were pregnant with Harry's babies and he proposed to them. Ron proposed to Hermoine and i killed lavender. also, Serious professed his undying sexy love for me and he proposed to me.

At the end of the ball, Past Serious took me to a hallway.

"SERIOUS WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE?" I asked in confuson.

"The Room of Requeerement!" Serious opened the door and revealed a bedroom suite! I gasped.

"I love you so fuxking much!" We made out on the bed passively and then we fell aslep


	3. just queerbaiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lookin at you, Scorbus 💚💚

The next day I was at breakfast with Luna because apparently she's a Gryffindor.

"Hey Lovegood!" someone yelled. "You're weird!"  
Then Luna started crying and ran into the bathroom!

I ran afrer her into the bathroom an asked her what was wrong.

"People are bullying me and it hurts my feelings!" Luna cried.

I felt really bad, so I kissed her. Then I pulled away. "Shit i shouldn't have down that im sorry" I said.

Then we had sex in the stall. No homo though. I'M STRAIGHT.

"Thanks for making me feel better!" Lyna said cheerfully. Then she skipped off.

The Hermione ran into the bathroom and cried! Even with her makeup smudged, she looked so beautiful, like a goddess. (I AM A HETEROSEXUAL. I LIKE THE D.)

"What's wrong, Hermoine?!?!!!?!" I asked.

"Im peregnant!" she cried.

GASP!!!!

"You need to tell Ron!" I said.

"You're right," she said. "bye!" Then she skipped off.

"What should I do now?" I thought. "Oh, i know! Quidditch!"


	4. QUIDDITCH AUDITIONS

I went to the field and saw lots of people there. There was a banner that said WELCOME TO QUIDDITCH AUDITIONS

"Up next..." Coach said, "Rose Potter!"

I got on a broom and did some cool tricks.

"Mazel tov! You made the team as seeker!"

"But Harry's the Gryffindor seeker," I said.

"Well, you're so good, we're gonna have 2 seekers now," he said.

"Litty!" Everyone high fived me and said congrats.

EVERYONE HATES ME I MIGHT AS WELL DIE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cringed while writing that this chapter


	5. Old and New Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know everyone has their own opinion on abortion. My stance is that everyone should have a right to their own body. If you don't want an abortion, that's ok. If you do want an abortion, that's totally ok too. Let's not get into any fights, shall we?

Hey so what's next oh right I was in Transfiguration turning a cup into a guitar. McGoogle gave me 3,264,251,325,713,417,742 points. Yayy.

Later I was in the Gryffindor Common Room doodling this in my notebook: 

https://goo.gl/images/oNnVos

I SUCK AT DRAWING!!!!

I saw Hermone and Rin making out and overheard this:

HERMOINE: Ron, will you love me no matter what?

RON: Of course! You're the love of my life.

HERMIONE: Okay... I'm pregnant, and you're the father.

RON: *gets up* EW YOU SLUT GET AN ABORTION!!!!!!

HERMIN: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT DO WITH MY BODY. WE'RE OVER

Then Hermione stormed off. I decided to follow her cause I can't mind my own damn buisness.

I saw her crying in a hallway. Suddenly, Snape walked over to her. "Stop crying you little bitch," he said.

Then they kissed!!


	6. i might get hate for this chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual assault ain't ok

Snamione soon became the hottest ship in the school and no one questioned their relationship.

One day I walked into Potions class with Jermione and she went up to kiss Snape.

"Hi love," Hermoin cooed. She was running her stomach because that's what pregnant people do.

When Snape realized Herm was doing pregnant things, he got angry. "Bruh I'm not gonna be the baby daddy you slut." He pulled Hermione into another room. me and everyome else in the class just kinda sat there awkwardly.

Hermione soon ran out crying. "He rapped me!" she cried. "Now I'm pregnant with his baby despite still being pregnant with Ron's!"

Ron just stood there while eating chicken. Then... Fred and Georgw ran in! THey killed Ron and killed Snape too with a double Avada Kedavra. We all cheereded except for Hernoine.

"I don't need saving!" Hermion yelled and slapped Fred and George . "Im a strong independent womaN!"

they ran away amd tired not to cry bevause boys don't cry.

Hermione walked towards thedoor but then there was clear tape on her facewhen she gotto the doorway!

Fred and George flew in through a window om a broom. "YOU GOT PRANKED, BRO!!!" they cheered.

Hermiome smiled. "That is the true way to a girl's heart!" She got on the broom and kissed them. The 3 of them flew into the sunset.

We all cheerdeded.


	7. Band

That might I was in my room and I rmembered I'm a Mary-Sue so I ned to be an animagus amd a metamorphasis. I blinked and my eyes turned purple and grew a beak, then i turned into a doge.

Check!

I stepped into the shower and started singing Perfect by Ed Sheeran.

Suddenly... someone opened the door!

"IMMA HEX YOU BITCH" I yelled.

Then I realized it was Draco. "Your voice is amazeballs! Wanna be in a band!"

"Sure!"

The next day, I was in an ambiguous place with Draco, Fred, George, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Neville, and Luna.

"Btw Luna and I are dating," Nevile sed because everyone has to be in a relationship.

"Lit," we all said.

"So whats the band name?" I asked seductively.

"Its called Your Physical Hatred," Luna cheered.

"OMFG!" I gasped. "THAT'S AWESOME."

"So," Draco said, "Fred is on guitra, George is on drums, Ginny is on bass, Hermioen is on keybord, Nevile is kn triangle, luna is on tamborine, and you and me and Harry sing. Kapeesh?"

"Kapash," I said sexxxily.

George banged hsi sticks together and then we started playing.Me, Dravo, and Harry were singing Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift. Draxo amd Harru were looking at each other the whole time and smiling. It was sooo cute!

At the end of the song, Ginny yeled at Harry, "You love Draco more than me!"

"Thats nit true!" Harry exclaimed. "I love you both equally! You're both my baes!"

"Yeah right! We're over! Have fun with your monogamy, beeyotch!" then she stormed off.

Suddenly, Dumbledore came in! "Harry, you gotta win Ginny back! You're soul-bound! If you're not together, the universe will collapse!"

"Oh no! I need to think of an idea becUse Imthe Mary Sue!" I gasped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I came up with Your Physical Hatred because it's just the antonym for My Chemical Romance.


	8. Big Romantic Gesture!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is barely literate

So I told Harry my idea amd it was set for the nezt dat.

At the Quidditch game I was on my broom being amazimg. I looked at harry and we knee it was tkme.

"EVERYONE LKSTEN!" HarRy yelld. "I HAVE A ANNOUNCEMENT! I LOVE GINNY WEASLEY! SHE IS MY FIANCE, THE MOTHER OF ONE OF MY UNBORN CHILDREN, AND SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD!"

Ginny who was on her broom, flew over to Harry. "I love you so much." Then tjey kjssed. Everyine cheerd.

Then Madame Pomfrey appeared. "I got news bishes! Draco and Ginny, since you're both an unspecified amount of months pregnant but enough to have a bump, you can't play quidditch. Harry has to be controlling now."

"Kay!" Draco, Ginmt, amf Harry seded.

Then the game ended i guess or whatever.


	9. Chapter 9

Time for another Yule Ball! This is the part when I go into detail about what people wore!

Ginny worw this:  
https://goo.gl/images/XC6t9L

HHermoine wore this:   
https://goo.gl/images/1CaCrw

LLuna wore this:  
https://goo.gl/images/8XiK7H

Draco wore this:  
https://goo.gl/images/HuvnVe

Amd I were this really boring dress because im poor and ugly:  
https://goo.gl/images/8LYuDD

We were all havin a good time having a good tiiime ane then suddenly..............

Draco, Ginnyx and hermion gaspe. "MY WATER BROKE!" they all cried. So Harry, Draco, Ginny, Hermim, Gred and Forge (because they're gonna raise the babies wiyh hermione), amd me (cos im the marysue) went to St. Manga.


	10. BABIES BABIES BABIES

Draco, Ginny, and Herpes and the baes and me (don't question my presence) all ran into the waiting room.

"We're having babies!!!" we all yell.

"Oh come in!" the receptionist said. "Yiu don't need to fill out paperwork at all!"

Litty! we all wentinto a room whete tehyre were 3 beds anda dressing room wherethey chanegs into a hopsital gowns. they came back out sndgot on the beds and started screaming.

Draco cried because he was scared. Ginny cried because the pain was painful.. And Hermione cried because that's what she usually does in fanfiction.

Then the Healer came in and put on gloves. "Hi! I'm Tiffany! I'm gonna help you deliver your babies!"

"How am I giving birth!?" Draco cried.

"Through your anus duhh," Tiffany said. "PUSH!!!!!!!"

Draco pushed through his butthole and then a baby boy with a full head of shiny blond locks started crying.

Ginny pushed until Satan came out of her hooha.

Hermioni pushed until she cried so much that I covered her mouth but then she bit me. "OW MOTHERFUCKING SHITDICK!" She yelled. 2 baby girls finally came out of Hermione.

The babies came out perfectly clean and without umbilical cords cos magic. they weren't weighed and were just given to the parents immediately.

All the parents cried tears of joy while I took selfies and posted it on the snapchat.

Draco and Herminninkahzgzg gave their kids modern american names even though this is 1997 Scotland. Draco and Harry named their son Jayden Aiden Malfoy-Potter. Hermioje and fred and gorge namrd the babeis (yes the ones that are the daughters of Ron and snape) Rose II Weasley and Madison Mia Weasley. Ginny and harry named their baby Stan cos hes a redhead.

lots of selfies lots of tears blah blah blooh.

 

 

the end i guess?

 

oh wait this is about me so i sang a Bruno Mars song and did a backflip and ended racism

 

 

the end.


End file.
